Spirit and Purpose Heal
As the end of 2017 approaches, I am filled with questions.
Did I accomplish everything I wanted to do this year? I released The Adversity Advantage: Turn Your ChildhoodHardship Into Career and Life Success. I have put ads in the local
newspapers, been active on face book, and tweeting about my activities. By next
spring I want to make sure I have done everything I can to get the word out
about my book. Each person that reads it will be much closer to self-acceptance,
self-confidence, and self-love.
My overarching purpose on this earth is to help as many
people as possible gain greater resolution of their childhood adversity to achieve
greater resolution and peace. I use whatever format I have been given, whether
that be radio, TV, blogs, podcasts, or speeches. And, I am doing it.
Last night I had the Spirit of The Senses Group to my home
in Phoenix. I have been a member for the past couple of years and have
thoroughly enjoyed the intellectual lectures. It is an impressive senior group of
people who are professionally accomplished and want to keep learning and
growing.
I moved the furniture around in my living room, bought
cookies and waters, and decorated the outside for the holidays. I wanted my
house to feel warm and welcoming. As people started arriving, I felt nervous.
This group asks very intelligent questions! What if someone in the audience
knows more about the topic than I do?
Each time I speak about my topic of childhood adversity I
face into the consequences of my own childhood. I face into my lack of
self-confidence, discomfort with my appearance, and lack of belief in myself. In
one of my last speeches, someone in the audience asked me, “What is the role of
forgiveness in recovery?” I know the answer. But, I lost my confidence and
turned the question over to someone in the audience – a friend and
psychologist. I didn’t give myself the
chance to respond. However, now I know that before a speech, childhood
insecurities are expected and being mindful of this is like welcoming an old
friend that I acknowledge and then send on their way. And, each time she stays
less time.
I prepared my speech in the afternoon and then at the last
minute realized I needed something more educational, not just inspirational.
Know thy audience! And, so I reviewed my most recent research article to make
sure I had the data at my fingertips.
Thirty-five people arrived and were quietly seated. The
salon coordinator gave me a lovely and gentle introduction citing my
professional journal articles and work experience. All of a sudden, I was on!
I pray before I speak. I pray that I will be given the right
words to help whomever needs my help in the audience. “May the wisdom of the
universe bestow itself on this situation and may thy will be done.” It is not
about me, it is about letting the spirit of the universe move through me to
explain my study findings and interpreting them to provide a roadmap or guide
to help others.
The audience was highly alert for 45 minutes. No one moved,
coughed, or yawned. There was tension in the room and we could all feel it. I
could hear them thinking, “She is talking about me. She is talking about my
childhood. She knows I still carry wounds from the past. She knows I was
physically abused. She knows my dad was an alcoholic.”
I tried to get the audience to laugh, but they were too
immersed in the seriousness of the topic. And, then I asked for questions.
There were at least thirty questions and at times, while I
wanted to give my power to others, I made myself stay in place and dig deeper
to discuss whether my research on Factors
that Lead to Success and Overcome Obstacles applies to younger generations.
An audience member also asked me if it was easier to recover from one type of
abuse versus another. Another question was about techniques for recovery,
including EMDR. And, still another asked
about the role of genetics in recovery from childhood trauma. The perspectives
from the audience were multi-generational, rich, colorful, and woven with
experiences from the 1930s, 1940s, 1950s, 1960s and upward. They were
brilliant, successful, and had come from rural areas throughout the country,
surviving family deaths, poverty, alcoholism, and abuse.
I was presenting to the very people I had studied. And, they
heard me and I heard them and it was truly a holiday gift. The gift they gave
me was one of listening, helping me to dig deeper, and to validate the work I
had been doing for the past five years.
I felt God’s presence in the room and I hope I helped even a
few people recover a bit more from their childhoods. And, to be honest, I felt
healing for myself from all of them.
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