Spirit and Purpose Heal
As the end of 2017 approaches, I am filled with questions. Did I accomplish everything I wanted to do this year? I released The Adversity Advantage: Turn Your ChildhoodHardship Into Career and Life Success. I have put ads in the local newspapers, been active on face book, and tweeting about my activities. By next spring I want to make sure I have done everything I can to get the word out about my book. Each person that reads it will be much closer to self-acceptance, self-confidence, and self-love.
My overarching purpose on this earth is to help as many people as possible gain greater resolution of their childhood adversity to achieve greater resolution and peace. I use whatever format I have been given, whether that be radio, TV, blogs, podcasts, or speeches. And, I am doing it.
Last night I had the Spirit of The Senses Group to my home in Phoenix. I have been a member for the past couple of years and have thoroughly enjoyed the intellectual lectures. It is an impressive senior group of people who are professionally accomplished and want to keep learning and growing.
I moved the furniture around in my living room, bought cookies and waters, and decorated the outside for the holidays. I wanted my house to feel warm and welcoming. As people started arriving, I felt nervous. This group asks very intelligent questions! What if someone in the audience knows more about the topic than I do?
Each time I speak about my topic of childhood adversity I face into the consequences of my own childhood. I face into my lack of self-confidence, discomfort with my appearance, and lack of belief in myself. In one of my last speeches, someone in the audience asked me, “What is the role of forgiveness in recovery?” I know the answer. But, I lost my confidence and turned the question over to someone in the audience – a friend and psychologist. I didn’t give myself the chance to respond. However, now I know that before a speech, childhood insecurities are expected and being mindful of this is like welcoming an old friend that I acknowledge and then send on their way. And, each time she stays less time.
I prepared my speech in the afternoon and then at the last minute realized I needed something more educational, not just inspirational. Know thy audience! And, so I reviewed my most recent research article to make sure I had the data at my fingertips.
Thirty-five people arrived and were quietly seated. The salon coordinator gave me a lovely and gentle introduction citing my professional journal articles and work experience. All of a sudden, I was on!
I pray before I speak. I pray that I will be given the right words to help whomever needs my help in the audience. “May the wisdom of the universe bestow itself on this situation and may thy will be done.” It is not about me, it is about letting the spirit of the universe move through me to explain my study findings and interpreting them to provide a roadmap or guide to help others.
The audience was highly alert for 45 minutes. No one moved, coughed, or yawned. There was tension in the room and we could all feel it. I could hear them thinking, “She is talking about me. She is talking about my childhood. She knows I still carry wounds from the past. She knows I was physically abused. She knows my dad was an alcoholic.”
I tried to get the audience to laugh, but they were too immersed in the seriousness of the topic. And, then I asked for questions.
There were at least thirty questions and at times, while I wanted to give my power to others, I made myself stay in place and dig deeper to discuss whether my research on Factors that Lead to Success and Overcome Obstacles applies to younger generations. An audience member also asked me if it was easier to recover from one type of abuse versus another. Another question was about techniques for recovery, including EMDR. And, still another asked about the role of genetics in recovery from childhood trauma. The perspectives from the audience were multi-generational, rich, colorful, and woven with experiences from the 1930s, 1940s, 1950s, 1960s and upward. They were brilliant, successful, and had come from rural areas throughout the country, surviving family deaths, poverty, alcoholism, and abuse.
I was presenting to the very people I had studied. And, they heard me and I heard them and it was truly a holiday gift. The gift they gave me was one of listening, helping me to dig deeper, and to validate the work I had been doing for the past five years.
I felt God’s presence in the room and I hope I helped even a few people recover a bit more from their childhoods. And, to be honest, I felt healing for myself from all of them.